I had an “Aha” moment while attending a church on Sunday. The speaker shared a quote from her grandmother. She said that are cups are full up and when we are shaken, whatever is inside is what comes out. It made me realize that I need to have my cup full of love and peace, because I am always being shaken.
We can be standing in a river of water and dying of thirst. If you find yourself in this place, then you need to start seeking the abundant life. You need to take your hand and dip it into the water surrounding you and drink from the abundance of love all around you. Gratitude is the cup you should use first. As you are grateful, more abundance comes into your life.
Monday, February 12, 2007
The Gobble Bag
By: Amy Ambridge
At night, after my children go to bed, I look around the house and become discouraged at what I see. There are toys in the family room, jackets and stuffed animals strewn all over the stairs, and dirty dishes mingled with crayons on the counter. In an afternoon, the kids seem to undo a whole morning’s worth of work. This causes no small amount of stress, discouragement, and frustration as I try to get my girls to clean up after themselves.
I was sharing with a friend how exhausted I get picking up all the clutter and little messes left by my children. She introduced me to the idea of a gobble bag. My friend told me that her mother has a bag with a face painted on it and the face has very large teeth. It is called the “Gobble Bag” and at night, when the children go to bed, it comes out and eats up all the children’s toys and clutter that is left around the house. I quickly adopted the idea and have saved my back and sanity in the process. My workload has dropped by almost half and so has my frustration level.
When I first introduced the idea of the Gobble Bag to my children, I explained that it would be the children’s, not my, responsibility to clean up their toys. Before bedtime, I would tell my girls, “Feel free to pick up any toys you want to keep.” I would remind them at first, but only for a few days. I let the Gobble Bag do the reminding and the teaching. At night the Gobble Bag “eats” up any remaining toys, books, papers, and items left by my children. At first, there are a lot of toys to pick up and put into the bag, but each day the clutter and toys gets less and less until it is almost non-existent.
My three-year-old daughter learned the hard way when her favorite stuffed dog, Gooey, was gobbled up. She cried and was upset, but the blame was placed squarely on her because she forgot to take him to her room. I sympathized with her by saying, “That is so sad that you forgot to put away your doggie and the Gobble Bag gobbled him up. Do not worry you will get him back in a week and I am sure you will take better care of him in the future.”
The inanimate nature of the Gobble Bag seems to shift the responsibility away from the parents and onto the child. My daughter had to wait until the following Monday night when all the toys are presented at our family night to get Gooey back. After our family night, the children then have the option of putting away all their toys. If they forget, they go away for another week. They have only forgotten once. They know that if they continue to leave out the same toys it tells me that they are not interested in caring for those toys. Then we decide to give those toys to someone who will care for them. My daughter was so happy to see Gooey after a week’s absence that she never left him out again.
Now, each night before bedtime, I find joy as I watch my children, instead of me, frantically picking up all the toys, dolls, art supplies, and clutter that they want to keep. They are learning personal responsibility and I have learned a lesson in creative parenting.
Origin of “The Gobble Bag”
Have no fear the gobble bag is here. I was introduced to the idea of a gobble bag when I was complaining to a friend about how exhausted I get picking up all the clutter and little messes left by my daughters. My friend told me that her mother had a bag with a face painted on it and the face had very large teeth. It is called the gobble bag and at night, when the children go to bed, it comes out and eats up all the children’s toys and clutter that is left around the house. I quickly adopted the idea and have saved my back and sanity in the process. My workload has dropped by almost half and so has my frustration level.
The Gobble Bag
(If you struggle with kid clutter then you will love this helpful tip.)
By: Amy Ambridge
If you are struggling with toys and clutter left by your children then here is a tip for you. Get a gunnysack or any type of large bag to be used to store toys. You may choose to paint a face with big munchy teeth on the bag. This becomes your “Gobble Bag.” Explain to your children that cleaning up toys, homework, papers, art supplies, stuffed animals, etc. is their responsibility. Explain that you will no longer be taking responsibility for items that belong to someone else. Each person will clean up after himself or herself and whatever is not cleaned up will be gobbled up each night by the Gobble Bag. Each family member will have a chance to put away the gobbled up toys and items on a designated family meeting night. The words, “feel free to clean up any toys or things you would like to keep,” help children take responsibility for their own things. It only takes a few times of losing a favorite toy for a week that children begin to take responsibility for their own toys and personal items. It also takes the frustration and responsibility away from the parents and puts it onto the person who should be responsible.
By: Amy Ambridge
At night, after my children go to bed, I look around the house and become discouraged at what I see. There are toys in the family room, jackets and stuffed animals strewn all over the stairs, and dirty dishes mingled with crayons on the counter. In an afternoon, the kids seem to undo a whole morning’s worth of work. This causes no small amount of stress, discouragement, and frustration as I try to get my girls to clean up after themselves.
I was sharing with a friend how exhausted I get picking up all the clutter and little messes left by my children. She introduced me to the idea of a gobble bag. My friend told me that her mother has a bag with a face painted on it and the face has very large teeth. It is called the “Gobble Bag” and at night, when the children go to bed, it comes out and eats up all the children’s toys and clutter that is left around the house. I quickly adopted the idea and have saved my back and sanity in the process. My workload has dropped by almost half and so has my frustration level.
When I first introduced the idea of the Gobble Bag to my children, I explained that it would be the children’s, not my, responsibility to clean up their toys. Before bedtime, I would tell my girls, “Feel free to pick up any toys you want to keep.” I would remind them at first, but only for a few days. I let the Gobble Bag do the reminding and the teaching. At night the Gobble Bag “eats” up any remaining toys, books, papers, and items left by my children. At first, there are a lot of toys to pick up and put into the bag, but each day the clutter and toys gets less and less until it is almost non-existent.
My three-year-old daughter learned the hard way when her favorite stuffed dog, Gooey, was gobbled up. She cried and was upset, but the blame was placed squarely on her because she forgot to take him to her room. I sympathized with her by saying, “That is so sad that you forgot to put away your doggie and the Gobble Bag gobbled him up. Do not worry you will get him back in a week and I am sure you will take better care of him in the future.”
The inanimate nature of the Gobble Bag seems to shift the responsibility away from the parents and onto the child. My daughter had to wait until the following Monday night when all the toys are presented at our family night to get Gooey back. After our family night, the children then have the option of putting away all their toys. If they forget, they go away for another week. They have only forgotten once. They know that if they continue to leave out the same toys it tells me that they are not interested in caring for those toys. Then we decide to give those toys to someone who will care for them. My daughter was so happy to see Gooey after a week’s absence that she never left him out again.
Now, each night before bedtime, I find joy as I watch my children, instead of me, frantically picking up all the toys, dolls, art supplies, and clutter that they want to keep. They are learning personal responsibility and I have learned a lesson in creative parenting.
Origin of “The Gobble Bag”
Have no fear the gobble bag is here. I was introduced to the idea of a gobble bag when I was complaining to a friend about how exhausted I get picking up all the clutter and little messes left by my daughters. My friend told me that her mother had a bag with a face painted on it and the face had very large teeth. It is called the gobble bag and at night, when the children go to bed, it comes out and eats up all the children’s toys and clutter that is left around the house. I quickly adopted the idea and have saved my back and sanity in the process. My workload has dropped by almost half and so has my frustration level.
The Gobble Bag
(If you struggle with kid clutter then you will love this helpful tip.)
By: Amy Ambridge
If you are struggling with toys and clutter left by your children then here is a tip for you. Get a gunnysack or any type of large bag to be used to store toys. You may choose to paint a face with big munchy teeth on the bag. This becomes your “Gobble Bag.” Explain to your children that cleaning up toys, homework, papers, art supplies, stuffed animals, etc. is their responsibility. Explain that you will no longer be taking responsibility for items that belong to someone else. Each person will clean up after himself or herself and whatever is not cleaned up will be gobbled up each night by the Gobble Bag. Each family member will have a chance to put away the gobbled up toys and items on a designated family meeting night. The words, “feel free to clean up any toys or things you would like to keep,” help children take responsibility for their own things. It only takes a few times of losing a favorite toy for a week that children begin to take responsibility for their own toys and personal items. It also takes the frustration and responsibility away from the parents and puts it onto the person who should be responsible.
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Mother's Day 2007
You Do Not Have to Be Perfect to Be Wonderful!
Mother’s Day Article
By: Amy K. Ambridge
February 7, 2007
This Mother’s Day, go easy on yourself. Many women dread that special day of the year when they are honored. Women often focus on their weaknesses. Focusing on the areas where we feel we are failing instead of all the areas where we are making a positive impact leaves us feeling less than worthy. I heard a statement at a Time Out for Women Conference that helped change this for me. David A. Christensen said, “You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” (Time Out for Women, Sacramento, CA, April 2005, David A. Christensen)
During all the glowing Mother’s Day talks, say to yourself, “I do not have to be perfect to be wonderful,” take a deep breath and relax. Your family knows you are not perfect and they love you anyway.
The story of Thomas in the scriptures helps me to put my own life in perspective. I realize that Father in Heaven knows my weaknesses, but he sees me for all that I am. Thomas is known to millions as “Doubting Thomas” for his moments of weakness, but be assured the Lord does not use that name when referring to his precious son.
In John chapter eleven we see a very different Thomas. Lazarus dies and Jesus is going back to Judea. His disciples say in verse eight, “Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again? We see that the Savior is in great mortal danger if he returns to Judea. In verse eleven, “Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellow-disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.” Thomas doubted, but he was also brave and willing to lay down his life.
We are the same way. We often label ourselves or see only our frailties; the Lord sees our heart and our great strength. The Lord does not see you as the woman with the unclean laundry piling up or as the woman who lost her temper last week. He sees you as a precious daughter on a road of discipleship. Yes you falter, yes you fall, but you get back up and continue on that arduous journey of discipleship.
When I listen to Mother’s Day talks, I imagine a woman so different from myself. This woman has a lace collar (nothing wrong with lace collars) and apron on and looks a lot like the woman in “Leave it to Beaver.” I am a woman of faith, but I am also modern day mama who works part-time from home doing public relations for my husbands office, runs kids to and from extra-curricular activities, often nags the children to practice their piano (threatening to cut off their expensive piano lessons), e-mails, blogs, throws huge parties and sit-down dinners.
I did million-dollar deals and oversaw sales people in multiple states before motherhood. Still, I am not great at reminding my children to brush their teeth and my laundry room looks like a bomb went off. I struggle to be patient and ever loving and I even raise my voice sometimes.
When I left the corporate world to stay home with my almost two-year-old, I thought my life was being run by a tyrant. (The more I know about two-year-olds, the more I see the accuracy of this statement.) I had to learn how to sit on the floor and play baby dolls and not feel that I was going out of my mind. It is easier now, because I have three children and I have completely lost my mind.
Despite my not being what might be termed, “Perfect,” I am wonderful in my own ways.
I know that like Esther, you and I were born for such a time as this. Each of us has a special calling and work that only we can do. I also know there is no such thing as a “Perfect Woman” or “Perfect Mother” because perfection has more to do with what is needed in each particular circumstance. I try to focus on living the gospel as perfectly as possible and trust that my own unique personality qualifies me for the work I have been called to do.
So, take a deep breath this Mother’s Day. Your family knows you are not perfect, but you do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You are wonderful.
Mother’s Day Article
By: Amy K. Ambridge
February 7, 2007
This Mother’s Day, go easy on yourself. Many women dread that special day of the year when they are honored. Women often focus on their weaknesses. Focusing on the areas where we feel we are failing instead of all the areas where we are making a positive impact leaves us feeling less than worthy. I heard a statement at a Time Out for Women Conference that helped change this for me. David A. Christensen said, “You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” (Time Out for Women, Sacramento, CA, April 2005, David A. Christensen)
During all the glowing Mother’s Day talks, say to yourself, “I do not have to be perfect to be wonderful,” take a deep breath and relax. Your family knows you are not perfect and they love you anyway.
The story of Thomas in the scriptures helps me to put my own life in perspective. I realize that Father in Heaven knows my weaknesses, but he sees me for all that I am. Thomas is known to millions as “Doubting Thomas” for his moments of weakness, but be assured the Lord does not use that name when referring to his precious son.
In John chapter eleven we see a very different Thomas. Lazarus dies and Jesus is going back to Judea. His disciples say in verse eight, “Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again? We see that the Savior is in great mortal danger if he returns to Judea. In verse eleven, “Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellow-disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.” Thomas doubted, but he was also brave and willing to lay down his life.
We are the same way. We often label ourselves or see only our frailties; the Lord sees our heart and our great strength. The Lord does not see you as the woman with the unclean laundry piling up or as the woman who lost her temper last week. He sees you as a precious daughter on a road of discipleship. Yes you falter, yes you fall, but you get back up and continue on that arduous journey of discipleship.
When I listen to Mother’s Day talks, I imagine a woman so different from myself. This woman has a lace collar (nothing wrong with lace collars) and apron on and looks a lot like the woman in “Leave it to Beaver.” I am a woman of faith, but I am also modern day mama who works part-time from home doing public relations for my husbands office, runs kids to and from extra-curricular activities, often nags the children to practice their piano (threatening to cut off their expensive piano lessons), e-mails, blogs, throws huge parties and sit-down dinners.
I did million-dollar deals and oversaw sales people in multiple states before motherhood. Still, I am not great at reminding my children to brush their teeth and my laundry room looks like a bomb went off. I struggle to be patient and ever loving and I even raise my voice sometimes.
When I left the corporate world to stay home with my almost two-year-old, I thought my life was being run by a tyrant. (The more I know about two-year-olds, the more I see the accuracy of this statement.) I had to learn how to sit on the floor and play baby dolls and not feel that I was going out of my mind. It is easier now, because I have three children and I have completely lost my mind.
Despite my not being what might be termed, “Perfect,” I am wonderful in my own ways.
I know that like Esther, you and I were born for such a time as this. Each of us has a special calling and work that only we can do. I also know there is no such thing as a “Perfect Woman” or “Perfect Mother” because perfection has more to do with what is needed in each particular circumstance. I try to focus on living the gospel as perfectly as possible and trust that my own unique personality qualifies me for the work I have been called to do.
So, take a deep breath this Mother’s Day. Your family knows you are not perfect, but you do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You are wonderful.
Monday, February 5, 2007
You Do Not Have to Be Perfect to Be Wonderful!
You Do Not Have to Be Perfect to Be Wonderful!
A Mother's Day Thought
I gave a talk on Mother's Day two years ago. I think more women need to know that they are wonderful despite and sometimes even because of their imperfections and uniqueness.
Mothers in Zion
May 6, 2005
By: Amy K. Ambridge
This is a great opportunity to be able to speak with you on a day when we celebrate the mothers and women in our lives.
I feel it a privilege to speak with you about the role of mothers in Zion. I have felt greatly encouraged as I have read and researched about our divine roles. This is a particularly sweet time in my life. I want to thank my beautiful children. I love being their mother. I am so honored to have two beautiful daughters of God. They are mighty woman and they have mighty spirits. I am especially touched at this time because of my newborn son. He is the sweetest boy on earth and I love him dearly. I am sure all the mothers here feel the same about their children.
Many of you may feel less than excited about this day and all the glorious talk that ensues about mothers as you see only your lack and not your great glory. My mother said she always dreads Mother’s Day because it reminds her of all that she is not. I hope that will not be the case today for the mothers and sisters in this room. I hope you will realize how wonderful you truly are.
I recently attended a woman’s conference where, David A. Christensen said something I want to share with you today. This statement has had a profound impact on me. He said, “You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” I hope you will each say that to yourself right now, “I do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” I hope you will continue to say that to yourself throughout this week. (Time Out for Women, Sacramento, CA, April 2005, David A. Christensen
You are wonderful. Each of you is unique, different from one another. Each of you has a divine purpose, like Esther, that only you can fill. Heavenly Father made you. He gave you your own distinct gifts and talents that make you unlike anyone else. Heavenly Father knows you are not perfect. Your family knows you are not perfect, but you do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You are wonderful. Your family thinks you are wonderful. We celebrate you and your divine role.
If you are thinking of your weaknesses, please know that Heavenly Father does not see you for your weaknesses. I think of an example from the scriptures about someone we often see for his weakness and not his great strength. If I say, “Doubting” and then ask you to fill in a name, what name would you fill in? You would most likely say Thomas. “Doubting Thomas.” Be assured the Lord does not use that name when referring to his precious son. Do you think the Lord sees Thomas that way? In John chapter eleven we see a very different Thomas. Lazarus dies and Jesus is going back to Judea. His disciples say in verse eight, “Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again? We see that the Savior is in great mortal danger if he returns to Judea. In verse eleven, “Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellow-disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
Do you think the Lord sees Thomas only as doubting? Or do you think the Lord sees Thomas as brave and willing to lay down his life for him? We are the same way. We often label ourselves or see only our frailties; the Lord sees our heart and our great strength. The Lord does not see you as the woman with the unclean laundry piling up or as the woman who lost her temper last week. He sees you as a precious daughter on a road of discipleship. Yes you falter, yes you fall, but you get back up and continue on that arduous journey of discipleship. You are His and you are destined to return to him weaknesses and all. He knows you, He loves you, and He desires your return.
So what is our divine role as women and mothers in Zion? The women of the scriptures provide the perfect framework to answer this question.
We look first to the Mother of All Living, Eve, for example and direction from Heavenly Father about our divine role. She was introduced as a help meet (two words) for Adam not as a help mate or helpmeet as one word. The word help is translated from a Hebrew root meaning “to surround, to protect, and to aid” (New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, 87) This we do for our husbands as we surround, protect, and aid them. This is also a wonderful expression of a woman’s role as mother. The adjective meet means, “equal to, suitable for, becoming, right, fit, worthy, sufficient, competent, well-placed, necessary, proper, fulfilling, satisfying.” Eve was a help and a meet to her husband and her children. (S. Michael Wilcox, “Daughters of God,” 1998, 7-17)
Eve’s name in Hebrew means “life-giver.” I love these words, life-giver. These words describe what we as woman do every day in so many ways. We give life literally and also figuratively. We give life to our friend’s, neighbors, families’, husband’s, and children’s dreams and hopes. We nurture, feed, strengthen, love, teach, sacrifice and give life to our families. The first woman on earth’s name is essentially the title of mother. What could be more fitting? (S. Michael Wilcox, “Daughters of God,” 1998, 7-17)
I think of so many of my dear friends who have not yet been able to give physical life to a child. These sisters labor so diligently giving life to all those around them. I also think of the young woman in our congregation who are not yet mothers in a physical sense and yet are still mothers and life givers by nature. In Sister Patricia Holland’s book, On Earth As It Is in Heaven, she gives added meaning to what it means to be a life giver.
“Eve was given the identity of ‘the mother of all living’—years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity, just as surely as the perfection in the Garden preceded the struggles of mortality. I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words, with meaning after meaning after meaning…I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature.” (Patricia Holland, On Earth As It Is in Heaven, 94)
Eve’s and our roles as life-givers are eternal and celestial. Satan tries to convince us that the temporal labor of the lone and dreary world is more important than the eternal labor of the celestial one. For me, the role of mother is my most sacred duty and the joy of my life. I often miss the corporate world with all its’ perks of travel, expense accounts, and recognition. It has been replaced with lots of travel to and from the elementary school and dance classes, lots of expenses but often not much in the account to pay them, and for recognition I often receive a bouquet of carefully picked dandelions. How priceless. I am overpaid in this job of motherhood. My cup runneth over with joy. As all mothers know, there is sorrow. I mostly sorrow for my own weaknesses and frailties. (When I am cleaning I worry that I am not spending enough time reading to the children, when I am playing and reading, I worry that I am not getting the house clean or the bills paid. These are small worries compared to the down on my knees pleadings when I feel I am failing in areas of parenting.)
It is my hope that in my moments of despair when I lay my weaknesses at the Father’s feet that He will take over. I hope that in these moments of a heart broken open in pleading and submission that then he can teach His children directly, through me, but with no resistance offered. It is our Father in Heaven’s greatest work and glory to bring about His children’s exaltation and so this too is our greatest work. Maybe in these moments of weakness that we all have we allow our Heavenly Father the opportunity to teach us and teach the children he has entrusted to us directly. So parents continue to pound on the doors of heaven, continue to plead, continue asking for the healing balm of the atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. It is in these moments that we are actually most effective as parents and as conduits of our Heavenly Father’s love. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997, 35)
I love the healing words of President Holland as he says to mothers, “You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be of good comfort; they faith hath made thee whole. And it will make your children whole as well.”
I love to think of myself as the woman fighting my way through the crowds to touch the hem of the master’s garment.
I am so grateful for the time preparing for this talk. It has been so comforting because I am one of those mothers that often find parenting the most difficult and unnatural process. I struggle to find patience, to have empathy, to be full of charity. When my children bicker, squabble, are petty when sharing, or act ungrateful it makes me crazy. I have to plead for strength in the midst of these challenges. I fail sometimes, but like you I dust off the dirt through the atonement and get back to the work of parenting and most importantly loving.
The message I hope to give is that I want you woman and men to know how wonderful you are. Our Heavenly Father loves us personally. He knows our names and hearts. He has a great work for each of us to do.
I want you to know that you are wonderful. You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. I want you to feel of the Savior’s love for you.
Our great work is to love. Our children will forgive us of our weaknesses if we just continue to love them.
I admonish all of us to follow the commandments. It is the greatest tool we have on this earth.
I know that like Esther, you and I were born for such a time as this. Each of you has a special calling and work that only you can do.
To the women, we are mothers in Zion fighting a valiant fight against evil. We are to nurture, to be covenant making and covenant keeping woman, to love, to teach the commandments through word and deed, to fight for truth and righteousness. We are the gospel of Jesus Christ embodied. We are a living testament of the gospel.
Women are by nature mothers whether we have born a child yet or whether it will be in the eternities. Mother is a statement about our nature.
We have a celestial work that will last throughout the eternities. We are life-givers. Our work in the home is important and incalculable in its worth.
Brethren, we thank you for your praise and encouragement. I thank my husband for his undying acceptance and love for me with all my weaknesses. I thank him for his praise and for choosing not to point out my weaknesses when they are so blatant.
Ezra Taft Benson quoted some wise counsel from a sister, she said, “Keep praising the mothers in Zion who are trying so hard; and keep loving us and praying for us, for we believe in the counsel of and cherish the words of the Brethren.” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Honored Place of Women,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 104)
It was so wonderful to watch the video during Relief Society last week. Your husbands and families said beautiful things about each of you. Listen to them, they are right. You are wonderful.
In Conclusion:
President Holland admonishes mothers, “Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997, 35)
I echo President Ezra Taft Bensons words as I look out on you beautiful sisters, “What choice spirits you are to be reserved as wives and mothers in Zion at this critical hour! You are members of the only true Church of Jesus Christ on earth, and through your faithfulness with your companion, you may be heirs to eternal life in the celestial kingdom. That is your assurance.”
I testify to you, dear sisters, the truthfulness and eternal nature of your honored place as women.
May God bless and crown each of you with joy and happiness in this life and throughout eternity.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Honored Place of Women,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 104)
A Mother's Day Thought
I gave a talk on Mother's Day two years ago. I think more women need to know that they are wonderful despite and sometimes even because of their imperfections and uniqueness.
Mothers in Zion
May 6, 2005
By: Amy K. Ambridge
This is a great opportunity to be able to speak with you on a day when we celebrate the mothers and women in our lives.
I feel it a privilege to speak with you about the role of mothers in Zion. I have felt greatly encouraged as I have read and researched about our divine roles. This is a particularly sweet time in my life. I want to thank my beautiful children. I love being their mother. I am so honored to have two beautiful daughters of God. They are mighty woman and they have mighty spirits. I am especially touched at this time because of my newborn son. He is the sweetest boy on earth and I love him dearly. I am sure all the mothers here feel the same about their children.
Many of you may feel less than excited about this day and all the glorious talk that ensues about mothers as you see only your lack and not your great glory. My mother said she always dreads Mother’s Day because it reminds her of all that she is not. I hope that will not be the case today for the mothers and sisters in this room. I hope you will realize how wonderful you truly are.
I recently attended a woman’s conference where, David A. Christensen said something I want to share with you today. This statement has had a profound impact on me. He said, “You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” I hope you will each say that to yourself right now, “I do not have to be perfect to be wonderful.” I hope you will continue to say that to yourself throughout this week. (Time Out for Women, Sacramento, CA, April 2005, David A. Christensen
You are wonderful. Each of you is unique, different from one another. Each of you has a divine purpose, like Esther, that only you can fill. Heavenly Father made you. He gave you your own distinct gifts and talents that make you unlike anyone else. Heavenly Father knows you are not perfect. Your family knows you are not perfect, but you do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. You are wonderful. Your family thinks you are wonderful. We celebrate you and your divine role.
If you are thinking of your weaknesses, please know that Heavenly Father does not see you for your weaknesses. I think of an example from the scriptures about someone we often see for his weakness and not his great strength. If I say, “Doubting” and then ask you to fill in a name, what name would you fill in? You would most likely say Thomas. “Doubting Thomas.” Be assured the Lord does not use that name when referring to his precious son. Do you think the Lord sees Thomas that way? In John chapter eleven we see a very different Thomas. Lazarus dies and Jesus is going back to Judea. His disciples say in verse eight, “Master, the Jews of late sought to stone thee; and goest thou thither again? We see that the Savior is in great mortal danger if he returns to Judea. In verse eleven, “Then said Thomas, which is called Didymus, unto his fellow-disciples, Let us also go, that we may die with him.”
Do you think the Lord sees Thomas only as doubting? Or do you think the Lord sees Thomas as brave and willing to lay down his life for him? We are the same way. We often label ourselves or see only our frailties; the Lord sees our heart and our great strength. The Lord does not see you as the woman with the unclean laundry piling up or as the woman who lost her temper last week. He sees you as a precious daughter on a road of discipleship. Yes you falter, yes you fall, but you get back up and continue on that arduous journey of discipleship. You are His and you are destined to return to him weaknesses and all. He knows you, He loves you, and He desires your return.
So what is our divine role as women and mothers in Zion? The women of the scriptures provide the perfect framework to answer this question.
We look first to the Mother of All Living, Eve, for example and direction from Heavenly Father about our divine role. She was introduced as a help meet (two words) for Adam not as a help mate or helpmeet as one word. The word help is translated from a Hebrew root meaning “to surround, to protect, and to aid” (New Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible, 87) This we do for our husbands as we surround, protect, and aid them. This is also a wonderful expression of a woman’s role as mother. The adjective meet means, “equal to, suitable for, becoming, right, fit, worthy, sufficient, competent, well-placed, necessary, proper, fulfilling, satisfying.” Eve was a help and a meet to her husband and her children. (S. Michael Wilcox, “Daughters of God,” 1998, 7-17)
Eve’s name in Hebrew means “life-giver.” I love these words, life-giver. These words describe what we as woman do every day in so many ways. We give life literally and also figuratively. We give life to our friend’s, neighbors, families’, husband’s, and children’s dreams and hopes. We nurture, feed, strengthen, love, teach, sacrifice and give life to our families. The first woman on earth’s name is essentially the title of mother. What could be more fitting? (S. Michael Wilcox, “Daughters of God,” 1998, 7-17)
I think of so many of my dear friends who have not yet been able to give physical life to a child. These sisters labor so diligently giving life to all those around them. I also think of the young woman in our congregation who are not yet mothers in a physical sense and yet are still mothers and life givers by nature. In Sister Patricia Holland’s book, On Earth As It Is in Heaven, she gives added meaning to what it means to be a life giver.
“Eve was given the identity of ‘the mother of all living’—years, decades, perhaps centuries before she ever bore a child. It would appear that her motherhood preceded her maternity, just as surely as the perfection in the Garden preceded the struggles of mortality. I believe mother is one of those very carefully chosen words, one of those rich words, with meaning after meaning after meaning…I believe with all my heart that it is first and foremost a statement about our nature.” (Patricia Holland, On Earth As It Is in Heaven, 94)
Eve’s and our roles as life-givers are eternal and celestial. Satan tries to convince us that the temporal labor of the lone and dreary world is more important than the eternal labor of the celestial one. For me, the role of mother is my most sacred duty and the joy of my life. I often miss the corporate world with all its’ perks of travel, expense accounts, and recognition. It has been replaced with lots of travel to and from the elementary school and dance classes, lots of expenses but often not much in the account to pay them, and for recognition I often receive a bouquet of carefully picked dandelions. How priceless. I am overpaid in this job of motherhood. My cup runneth over with joy. As all mothers know, there is sorrow. I mostly sorrow for my own weaknesses and frailties. (When I am cleaning I worry that I am not spending enough time reading to the children, when I am playing and reading, I worry that I am not getting the house clean or the bills paid. These are small worries compared to the down on my knees pleadings when I feel I am failing in areas of parenting.)
It is my hope that in my moments of despair when I lay my weaknesses at the Father’s feet that He will take over. I hope that in these moments of a heart broken open in pleading and submission that then he can teach His children directly, through me, but with no resistance offered. It is our Father in Heaven’s greatest work and glory to bring about His children’s exaltation and so this too is our greatest work. Maybe in these moments of weakness that we all have we allow our Heavenly Father the opportunity to teach us and teach the children he has entrusted to us directly. So parents continue to pound on the doors of heaven, continue to plead, continue asking for the healing balm of the atonement for whatever may be troubling you or your children. It is in these moments that we are actually most effective as parents and as conduits of our Heavenly Father’s love. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997, 35)
I love the healing words of President Holland as he says to mothers, “You are doing God’s work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you and He will bless you, even—no, especially—when your days and your nights may be the most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master’s garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and sometimes weep over their responsibility as mothers, ‘Daughter, be of good comfort; they faith hath made thee whole. And it will make your children whole as well.”
I love to think of myself as the woman fighting my way through the crowds to touch the hem of the master’s garment.
I am so grateful for the time preparing for this talk. It has been so comforting because I am one of those mothers that often find parenting the most difficult and unnatural process. I struggle to find patience, to have empathy, to be full of charity. When my children bicker, squabble, are petty when sharing, or act ungrateful it makes me crazy. I have to plead for strength in the midst of these challenges. I fail sometimes, but like you I dust off the dirt through the atonement and get back to the work of parenting and most importantly loving.
The message I hope to give is that I want you woman and men to know how wonderful you are. Our Heavenly Father loves us personally. He knows our names and hearts. He has a great work for each of us to do.
I want you to know that you are wonderful. You do not have to be perfect to be wonderful. I want you to feel of the Savior’s love for you.
Our great work is to love. Our children will forgive us of our weaknesses if we just continue to love them.
I admonish all of us to follow the commandments. It is the greatest tool we have on this earth.
I know that like Esther, you and I were born for such a time as this. Each of you has a special calling and work that only you can do.
To the women, we are mothers in Zion fighting a valiant fight against evil. We are to nurture, to be covenant making and covenant keeping woman, to love, to teach the commandments through word and deed, to fight for truth and righteousness. We are the gospel of Jesus Christ embodied. We are a living testament of the gospel.
Women are by nature mothers whether we have born a child yet or whether it will be in the eternities. Mother is a statement about our nature.
We have a celestial work that will last throughout the eternities. We are life-givers. Our work in the home is important and incalculable in its worth.
Brethren, we thank you for your praise and encouragement. I thank my husband for his undying acceptance and love for me with all my weaknesses. I thank him for his praise and for choosing not to point out my weaknesses when they are so blatant.
Ezra Taft Benson quoted some wise counsel from a sister, she said, “Keep praising the mothers in Zion who are trying so hard; and keep loving us and praying for us, for we believe in the counsel of and cherish the words of the Brethren.” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Honored Place of Women,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 104)
It was so wonderful to watch the video during Relief Society last week. Your husbands and families said beautiful things about each of you. Listen to them, they are right. You are wonderful.
In Conclusion:
President Holland admonishes mothers, “Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones. (Jeffrey R. Holland, “Because She Is a Mother,” Ensign, May 1997, 35)
I echo President Ezra Taft Bensons words as I look out on you beautiful sisters, “What choice spirits you are to be reserved as wives and mothers in Zion at this critical hour! You are members of the only true Church of Jesus Christ on earth, and through your faithfulness with your companion, you may be heirs to eternal life in the celestial kingdom. That is your assurance.”
I testify to you, dear sisters, the truthfulness and eternal nature of your honored place as women.
May God bless and crown each of you with joy and happiness in this life and throughout eternity.
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” (Ezra Taft Benson, “The Honored Place of Women,” Ensign, Nov. 1981, 104)
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